Ahhh, my beloved attic. So good to be up here again. So good to blog, after not having done so for a week and a half. So good to get away from my desk. So good to have someone to hypothetically vent to, if faceless and through the medium of computer monitor. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

My vocal chords are probably being used about 80% less than during the school term. I have nothing much to talk about with my parents, and I'm as sick as hell of Briahna. I stopped talking to her on Monday. Ugh she is so infuriatingly stupid. Every time she talks to me my brain goes into overdrive yelling "fuck you, you stupid bitch/brat" etc. etc..
I'm not being melodramatic. My sanity may be disintegrating, but under no circumstances am I exaggerating or whatever. She... her voice, her presence, her existence just chafes me like sandpaper.

Well, as I've said I haven't been online and really talking to people since last Wednesday. I'm not really a phone person, either. Actually, I'm sort of a phone person provided I'm in an empty house because otherwise I feel like I can't talk freely, that if I talk to loud then my family (especially my sister, but also my parents) will hear me and no doubt judge what I say. Besides, the things that I like to talk about most are probably better off being talked about where my family can't hear me talking about them. Yes?
Another troublesome issue with phones is the suspense of having them picked up. I dislike it when a family member picks up on the other end. Why can't the person I'm calling just know when I'm calling and pick up the phone? 'Cause then I wouldn't have to go through an intermediary, a third party... in some cases, one who doesn't speak English...

Anyway. The reason I haven't been up in my attic for the past week is because my dad began downloading something. Don't get me wrong, it's not the downloading that's the problem. It's what he's been downloading - something that fits my taste so much that I enslave myself every evening after dinner to watch two episodes or three of it. Or four, even. As many as I can get away with before my parents insist that it's too late.

Okay, okay. If you think I had it bad with Merlin, this is the real thing. Lame as it sounds, I literally feel like I want to sob and beg on my knees for it to be real. For it to whisk me away so I can live in their world. Especially since I've been moping around at home like this. Oooh, it's so enchanting. Who needs drugs when you've got TV? Especially since I'm half in love with the main character and am on the brink of no return. (Hell, if I saw him on the streets dressed in that costume walking his civilised walk, I'd probably run up and kiss him.)

Pity that the actor is apparently about sixty now. I should probably mention that the series was made in 1979? If you haven't figured it out already, it is a wuxia series. Even so, I'd say that it was one of the earlier ones, seeing as TVB only really got into it in the 80s. Some of the backgrounds are clearly fake, the effects are well, relatively primitive and the picture quality is ghastly! So I guess it must be saying something that the show manages to capture my heart when I'm used to seeing people's faces more sharply.
Still, the actor was thirty-two at the time, which was surprising to me nonetheless because I really thought he must have only been in his twenties (probably mid-).

My mother says that the author of the novel (which the series was based on) must have been a fantasist and/or unrealistic because he made his central character unbelievably perfect. Good-looking, smart, resourceful, good at kung fu, a "good guy", never kills people, girls dropping like flies (that might not be a good expression to use) for him...
I tell you, there more of these "perfect", sensitive guys I watch in movies or on tv, the more I won't settle for anything less. I'm without hope.

Teehee you know what's going on now? Right, so the main guy was being framed by a mysterious person so that he would be killed, so this girl that he met and befriended and fell in love with had to go out and find the true murderer of all the, well, victims while the dude was held prisoner by the angry clans that had members killed. In the end the girl figured out that the only way the real killer would appear was if she came back to the angry clans and announce that she'd found out the real culprit. So that's what she does, and just before she is about to announce the name, a black, masked person jumps behind her, slashes her with a sword and kills her. That was because he thought that she had actually found out his identity and did it so that she wouldn't say. After she dies, the clans agree that the good guy was obviously not the murderer 'cause it was sort of common knowledge that he was with the girl, so they let him go (still, the girl dying was really sad 'cause now it's as if he'll never be happy again. After all these girls throwing themselves at him, he'd finally found someone who he loved back).

Anyway, the guy who wanted to kill him still wants to kill him, so he goes and finds the dead girl's younger sister, who lives in seclusion with her master and practises kung-fu and so doesn't know anything about the outside world. The evil guy goes and kills her master so that she'll come out into the world, pretends to befriend her and tells her that this "cold-blooded" person who murders people left, right and centre (in reality, the good guy) named so and so killed both her sister and her master. And he helps her make a plan to get revenge which involves finding the good guy. So she does that and after a few fights and getting trapped, she realises that he's actually the good guy and didn't kill her sister (on the contrary, he clearly had feelings for her) and at the moment they seem to be getting closer to each other.
This is where I have severe doubts. This is his dead girlfriend (who died for him, remember?)'s younger sister!!! Oh my God, that poor girl must be turning in her grave. I sort of liked that girl - she was witty like another of my favourite wuxia characters, Wong Yung. Never mind that the younger sister has the same name as me (well, sort of like the same first name), which it may seem would justify me wanting to put myself in her shoes and revel in the main dude's affection. But no, I object. Look here again, is this not the younger sister ruining the older sister's chance at love, interefering for the worst? Like in Atonement? Over my freaking dead body!!

So yes, that's what's going on. As you can probably tell even without me having to tell you, I'm in this pretty deep. I can't lie in bed and go to sleep without my mind playing it over an over again in my head. It's pure anguish. I can't sit at my desk and make Maths notes without having my mind wander off and then swearing emphatically in an attempt to get myself back on track. Muse comes to mind: You... will suck the life out of me.

Also, on Friday I went to see Harry Potter. Pretty good movie, visually very good although it must be said that Daniel Radcliffe is not at all a looker (if he ever was). Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) rather is, though. He spent much of his time dressed in a silky, completely black suit and cuts a striking, upright, haughty man-on-a-mission figure (unlike Harry, who tends to go for baggy jeans and old tracksuit jacket). I'm disappointed, however, that they did cut out so many scenes, such as the end one where there was supposed to be a huge fight. I mean, Death Eaters broke into the Hogwarts castle, yet in the next scene all's calm again! What, did they show themselves out, then?

Well, that was a good rant. I feel better now.